Premature ejaculation is one of the most annoying things that can happen during sex. If it’s ever happened to you, or if you’re afraid it might, we’ve got some good news: you’re not the only one, there’s things you can do about it, and ways to deal with it when it happens. Here’s all you’ve ever needed to know about premature ejaculation.
It’s finally happening. You’re in bed with a nice girl, and she’s totally hot. Maybe you’ve entered her already, or maybe not even at all, when it happens: you cum. Just like that. She barely touched you at all. Is this the end of the line, or is everything going to be okay? Spoiler: it’s the second option.
What is premature ejaculation?
Premature ejaculation is a fancy word for reaching an orgasm before you want to, or before you expect to. In other words: you cum too quickly. Sex with a girl can be really hot, and it could well be that your body wants it a little bit too much. This especially happens with young guys, trying their luck for the first time, but there’s lots of guys who encounter it every now and then, even when they’re a lot more experienced.
Ejaculating too quickly can put an end to what should have been a great moment, and that’s bad. But don’t feel too bad about yourself just yet.
You’re not alone
This is the most important thing to remember. You’re the only one. It has happened to many guys before, and it still happens to lots of them throughout the world. More than anything, it’s a matter of physics. Some guys are just more sensitive than others. It happens. There are tons of girls who can have really quick orgasms too, and others who take a lot longer. It may not be fun, but it sure is all natural.
What can you do about it?
There are a lot of things you can do about it. Neither one of them will get you from a two-second guy into a 30-minute stallion rightaway, but all of them may just help well enough for it to stop being awkward.
This is the most important one. Practice. A lot. Yup, masturbation is kind of like target practice for the real deal. If you barely ever touch yourself, how is your body supposed to know how to react when that cute girl touches you? It doesn’t! Make sure you know exactly how your body works, and why it works the way it does. You’ll see things will start to get stretched out a little bit longer, soon.
Edging is a great way to train your stamina. Basically, edging means that you get yourself close to an orgasm, and then you stop, wait until you ease down a little, then start all over again. This will feel really unnatural at first, but it’s great for two reasons. First off, you’ll get to know your limits. If you know how it feels right before you hit the point of no return, you can take countermeasures. On top of that, you will train your body, just like you would train your muscles by working out, resting, and doing it again.
Use a condom
This is always a good idea when you first sleep with someone, but especially so when you’re not that good at lasting. A condom will form a thin barrier between your magic wand and her magic touch, numbing some of those magic feelings. There’s extra thick condoms out there, made just for this purpose. And if you do end up having an unexpected orgasm, you won’t ruin her clothes or make-up. It’s a win for everyone.
Have more sex
Granted, this is a classic example of “easier said than done”, I realize that. But still. Nothing works better against accidental cumshots than trial and error. If you manage to find yourself a girl that still lets you sleep with her the following day, you’ll find that you will get better at it. It may take a lot of sessions (which is good, ‘cause the more sessions, the better!), progress may be slow, and you may not end up entirely where you want to be, but it will help. I promise it will.
As ridiculously hot as it is to have a girl bouncing up and down on top of you, it also makes it very hard to keep your sanity. She may go really fast, or really deep, or she may hit that perfect angle that makes you get all fuzzy. Consider turning things around, literally. Be the one on top. Missionary and especially doggy allow you to control the pace and speed. When you feel it coming, slide out, dive in for some head-first pleasuring, or just wait it out for a few seconds. If you’re in charge of everything, you’re also much more in charge of your own orgasm.
No, not for you, for her! Girls tend to need a bit more time to reach an orgasm than guys to, that’s just how it is. So, give her that time. Finger her. Lick her. Get her just as horny as you are. If you take care of her until she’s getting close, she may just beg you to finally fuck her. And when you do, it may not take her a long time to join you into having a super quick orgasm.
Think happy thoughts
Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day! Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day! Ok, you may be slightly too young to remember this, but it’s a solid strategy. As hard as it may be, try not to think about that gorgeous creature squirming with pleasure in front of you, try to think of something else. Sing a song in your head, really focus on the lyrics. Focus on yourself and what you are doing, not on that hot piece of ass down there. You can try thinking actual gross thoughts, but that may ruin the entire experience, so I don’t recommend it. Then again, if it helps, it helps.
This isn’t really a fix, it’s more of a damage control thing. When you’re taking her and you feel it coming, just keep going. Your dick won’t get all flimsy right after you cum, there’s always going to be a gray area. Some girls are sensitive enough to feel everything that happens inside them, but many won’t even notice! Just keep going until your body forces you to stop, which may take longer than you’d expect. It’s not the most classy thing to keep your orgasm to yourself, but if it gets her where she wants to be, she’s not going to be complaining.
Some other things to consider
It’s better when she knows
Premature ejaculation isn’t a subject you’d love to bring up on a first date, but when things start to get serious, it may be worth mentioning. It’s not necessarily about lowering her expectations, it’s more about making sure she knows what might happen, so she can act accordingly. When she goes down on you, she may take it really slow, instead of diving right in. And she may let you eat her out until she’s really close herself, so the both of you can have a mutual orgasm after a small amount of thrusts. It’s always better to tell her beforehand than to have her find out by herself when it matters most.
There is medication
When it’s really bad, and you’ve tried everything on this list without any success whatsoever, know that there are meds to help you deal with your issue. Doctors won’t be giving it out too easily, but things like beta blockers do actually take off the rough edges. Alcohol does a similar thing, but it may have you ending up with something called whiskey dick, and that’s really jumping out of the frying pan, and into the fire. As a last resort, however, a trip to the doctor’s office can be worth a try.
It doesn’t have to be a bad thing
Seriously, let’s end on a happy note. Even though all these movies let us believe that premature ejaculation is the worst thing that can happen to you in the bedroom, it really isn’t. Many girls are really understanding. They know this can happen, and some of them may even like it. I mean, what better proof of her sexiness is there than a guy who just explodes the second he gets inside her? She may actually feel flattered!
Long story short: focus on her, take it slow, make sure you’re in charge, and know thyself. Chances are it will get better, and even if it doesn’t, it doesn’t have to be the end of the world. Oh, and try to find a girl who’s, like, really into it 😉